As I’ve mentioned on here a few times before, I ride a bike to work in London. There’s something about the rhythm of pushing the pedals that sets my mind working in unexpected and inexplicable directions.
One of those directions is in re-purposing songs to be the soundtrack of my commute, complete with traffic-related lyrics.
They’re not exactly earworms, and they’re not exactly eggcorns or mondegreens - perhaps they provide some kind of window into my subconscious.
I’m not sure what it reveals about the way my mind works, but I felt that I had to share them with the world. After all, that’s how you get rid of an earworm, isn’t it? Anyway, here they are. Somehow the fact that I’ve made a playlist of them, and put them into a table makes this whole thing even more ludicrous…
| Situation | Lyrics | To the tune of |
|---|---|---|
| When I see someone in the full get-up | Lycra boy, lycra boy | Ouija board, Ouija board by Morrissey |
| When the person in full get-up is riding slowly | Come on, lycra boy, woah | What’s new Pussycat by Tom Jones |
| When a driver is across multiple lanes | Which lane are you in, boys? | Which side are you on by Billy Bragg |
| When I see a minicab, especially if it’s badly driven | Addison Lee motherfucker | Wu tang motherfucker - Reunited by Wu tang Clan |
| A cyclist with no helmet and not much hair | Atak Of Da Bal-Hedz by Onyx | |
| The roads are unexpectedly quiet | I think we’re alone now by Tiffany | |
| A driver is unnecessarily aggressive | You can fuck right off, fuck right off | Ring My Bell by Anita Ward |