No man is a failure who has friends.

Everything is possible when one is drunk

Life is so hard. Sometimes I think it’s the hardest thing there is.

wine is the head of all obstinance and a fine solvent of human brains

All this philosophy, let’s get rid of it. It’s even worse than the novels. Thinkers, philosophers, all thinking exactly the same thing - only I am right, the others are all idiots. Ah, this one must be very profound: the Ethics of Aristotle. Now, anybody that read that must believe he’s a cut above anybody that hasn’t.

Give me but one firm spot on which to stand, and I will move the earth

the whole world is an enigma - a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth

If you hate a person you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.

A slavish bondage to parents cramps every faculty of the mind

All my life I have hated being asked to explain what I am doing. I hate the question because I very seldom know the answer.