I meet an old friend after work, and we go for a quiet pint that turns into four or five. Before long, we’re putting the world to rights, and then the next thing we know we’re drinking tequila. After that it all goes a little hazy. I love drinking. Other drugs can be good, and there’s definitely a time and a place for being straight, but booze is always a winner. The nights you have when you drink can’t be beaten for sheer lunacy. I’ve reached an age where I’m starting to get hangovers now, but alcohol is definitely still my drug of choice. For a start, there’s rarely any difficulty in acquiring it, and you don’t generally have to keep your use a secret. But more importantly, it frees you from the shackles of convention and takes you on unexpected adventures. A little bit of Dutch courage can do you the world of good. Alcohol is probably the most effective social lubricator there is. Obviously, there’s a danger that things might become a little too slippery, but the risk is usually worth taking. There’s something wonderful in waking up fully dressed in some mysterious location, and gradually piecing together the events of the night before. Images here and there combine to leave you with impression of having done something unusual. I like a smoke now and then, but it’s a terribly predictable way to spend an evening. You’ll giggle a lot, think everything is important, and only leave the sofa in search of chocolate and crisps. It has its attractions, but you don’t feel as though anything has happened. Other drugs have more of a sense of occasion to them, but it’s debatable whether the hassles associated with them are worth the buzz. Booze is another thing altogether. What does it do to us? What devil does it put inside us, that tells us to sleep with ugly people, climb over fences and eat kebabs? What horrible effect does it have on your digestive system? Or is that the kebabs? Yes, you sometimes have bad nights. You might throw up all over yourself. You might do stupid things. But they’re almost always funny, once you get over any initial embarrassment, and they make good stories to tell people in the pub the day after.
Life would be tolerable but for its amusements